October 29, 2010

WWE NXT Review: Oct. 26/10

We have a Halloween themed show this week. All the girls are in costume. We have "Teenage Mutant Ninja" AJ, "Hand Job" Naomi, Kaitlyn "Guerrero", "Ice Queen" Maxine and "Oops I Did It Again" Aksana (yes, I know she's a devil but she still looks like Britney Spears).

Striker talks about the elimination next week, and Naomi is in the lead for immunity. We go right into our first contest: Halloween costume judging. The girls have 15 seconds to impress the WWE Universe judges.

Aksana is first. She blows a couple kisses. Nothing to be overly excited about. Maxine doesn't do anything, she just talks. Also, I think I found her good angle (right side, about 80% profile). Kaitlyn is now mocking Vickie. She screams "excuse me" and then pretends to throw a tantrum. She stuffed her ass to epic proportions to boot(y). See what I did there? Vickie doesn't looked amused.

Naomi starts by slapping Striker. She then talks about Hamburger Helper. It sounds like a commercial. Boring.

Teenage Mutant Ninja AJ is last (but by far the best). She does a sexy little dance and as Striker said, she gave me a splinter (gotta love thinly veiled boner jokes).

Striker goes through the girls and bases the winner on applause. It's between Kaitlyn and AJ. Kaitlyn wins by a good bit. I'm not disappointed, she did have a good costume. Although AJ was hotter.

Match 1: Hand Job vs. Ice Queen

Maxine throws Naomi out of the ring. She slams the walking hand job into the announce table and then proceeds to ram her into the barrier behind the announcers. Back in the ring and there's a bit of back and forth. Maxine takes control after a big boot to Naomi. Maxine picks Naomi up, and Naomi drills Maxine in the gut. She follows with a series of headbutts for the pinfall.

Rating: 5/10. It was an alright match, but the hand costume made it hard to take Naomi seriously. Good aggression from Maxine as well.

Backstage with Aksana and Goldust. More marriage talk. Some Italian guy supposedly from immigration comes in and says that if Aksana doesn't marry next week, she's getting deported.

Match 2: Brie Bella vs. AJ

AJ kicks out of a pin following a dropkick from Brie. Bella trying for a submission now and AJ fights her way free. Another pin attempt by Brie. Apologies, my signal cut out for a second. AJ is out of the pin and Brie and Nikki are arguing outside the ring. No idea what happened.

Primo keeping an eye on the Bellas, stopping them from doing "that switchy thing." AJ slams Brie's head into the mat and locks in a sleeper. Brie rams her into the corner to get her off. AJ with a hammerfist to the back of Brie's head. Pin attempt and Brie kicks out. Irish whip and an elbow by AJ followed by another failed pin attempt.

AJ arguing with the ref distracts him long enough for Nikki to yank Brie out of the ring. Facebuster by Nikki and she picks up the win.

Rating: 7/10. The ending was bullshit to say the least. The only time switching between twin sisters is okay is when you're done fucking the first one.

Backstage with Ted DiBiase and Maryse. Maryse complains that she doesn't want to be there. Ted says they're only there to get the $Million title back. Maryse suggests he just buys a new one. Not going to happen.

Maryse storms off and that's that it seems. The main event is going to be Ted and Maryse vs. Aksana and Goldust.

Back from commercials and we have contest #2: candy eating. Yay, we get to see 3 semi-attractive (and 2 very attractive) girls cram their pie holes with chocolate. 1 minute to eat as much junk as possible.

Maxine wins. Whoopy.

Kaitlyn starts choking. She falls to her knees and Hornswoggle tries to help her. Vickie is now kneeling in front of her screaming in her face. Kaitlyn eventually spits candy in Vickie's face. We hear a bunch of men chanting what sounds like "puke puke puke" as Vickie slowly walks out.

Vickie is screaming her face off in her locker room. Kaitlyn comes to apologize and Dolph answers the door. They kinda share a moment in which he tells her that she really makes her outfit (the Vickie costume) work.

We see an invitation to Aksana and Goldust's wedding next week.

Match 3: Aksana and Goldust vs. Ted DiBiase and Maryse

Somewhere along the way Aksana loses her tail, horns and a heel.

Goldust takes Ted out of the ring while Aksana and Maryse battle it out. Maryse is dragging Aksana around by her hair. Aksana catches Maryse in a small package for the victory.

Rating: 5/10. What was the point of the entire match? Everything could have ended here tonight. All Ted had to do was grab the belt from ringside and bolt. Problem solved. But no, let's continue to drag it out some more.

That's the end of the show for this week.

Average Match Rating: 5.7/10 (+1.7)

Match of the Night: Brie vs. AJ

Overall Show Rating: 5/10 (--)

Magic 8-Ball: With the elimination (and Aksana's potential deportation) looming next week, things will be interesting. I see one of 2 things happening:

Aksana and Goldilocks fail to get married for whatever reason, meaning she gets deported and Maxine gets voted off. Or, Aksana is eliminated, rendering her marriage and immigration issues moot.

Ted and Maryse will most likely crash the above mentioned wedding, and there will be more infighting between the Bellas. Nothing spectacular in the future, but I kinda have to watch it if I'm going to write about it.

I don't know what to do for a feature post this week so I'll just wing it when I think of something.

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