September 30, 2010

WWE NXT Review: Sep. 29/10

We are live on tape from Bloomington, Illinois and your announcers are Josh ‘Next week I will be a Cylon’ Mathews and Michael ‘Cole Heat is replacing X Pac Heat’ Cole. Your host is Matt ‘Is that a Cosby sweater’ Striker. 

Matt Striker brings out the Divas who join the pros on the stage. 

Matt tells us that the voting starts tomorrow at noon on 

Matt says that being a diva means having athleticism and poise. This week’s challenge is a wheelbarrow challenge. They need to go around the ring once and the Diva with the fastest time wins. 

Maxine goes first, but before she gets to use the wheelbarrow, Matt says that they need to add a challenge. They need to put something big and heavy in the wheelbarrow. Hornswoggle comes out and he will be riding in the wheelbarrow and he has his helmet. Matt warns the rookies that if Hornswoggle falls out of the wheelbarrow, they are disqualified. 

Maxine’s time is 14.7 seconds and then Hornswoggle falls out of the wheelbarrow after the line was crossed. Hornswoggle responds to Maxine’s comments by biting her in the rear end. Naomi is next and her time is 15.2 seconds. Jamie is the third competitor and her time is 14.4 seconds. Kaitlyn is next and she tries to ride with Hornswoggle but Matt corrects her. Her time is 12.0 seconds. AJ is the penultimate participant and her time is 17.7 seconds. AJ gives Hornswoggle a hug and Hornswoggle gets a little too happy with the hugging. Aksana is the final participant and her time is 13.9 seconds. 

Our winner is Kaitlyn. She gets on Hornswoggle’s shoulders to celebrate and then Kaitlyn hugs Vickie as we go to commercial. 

We are back with This Week in WWE History: We go to September 1997 when we saw the Three Faces of Foley and Cactus Jack returned to face Hunter Hearst Helmsley. This was also the night that Steve Austin gave Vince McMahon a Stunner. 

Michael says that he is waiting for NXT Season 3 to be on Classics on Demand. 

We go to a video package for AJ. She says that her style is different. She says that she represents the nerds. She says that she didn’t mind staying at home on Saturday nights playing video games. She says that she did not have a lot growing up. She says that they didn’t have a lot but they had each other. AJ says that she always dreamed of being a Diva. She says that she remembered waiting in line for tickets for Wrestlemania in Madison Square Garden. She told her dad that she was going to be in that ring. She says that she is stronger than the other girls and they are not going to get rid of her. 

Diss the Diva is coming. We go to commercial. 

We are back and Did you Know that WWE provides their shows to the military all over the world.
We go to the Raw Rebound and the end of Chris Jericho? 

We are finally back and it is time for Josh and Michael to talk about Hell in a Cell. They tell us that the show will be on next week at 10:00 PM. We will see the first elimination next week. 

It is time to take a look at Kaitlyn. She is from Houston and she says that she played soccer for 13 years. She was in fitness and figure competitions. She finished in the top five in the Arnold Competition. The other rookies cannot do the robot. She wants to be the one who people can laugh with and will push the envelope. She wants people not to be afraid to express themselves. She says that she looks up to Beth Phoenix. Being the next WWE Diva is a huge honor because they are positive role models. Kaitlyn says that she has a lot to learn but she is willing to learn to get to the next level. 

We go to commercial. 

We are back and it is time to see what happened at the end of Smackdown when Undertaker upped the ante for their match at Hell in a Cell on Sunday. 

We go to more commercials, but Diss the Diva is next. 

We are back and Matt reminds the rookies that voting starts tomorrow so this could be their last time in the ring. 

They will have a chance to tell the other Divas why they have what it takes to be the next breakout star.
Aksana goes first and she thank Matt. She tell everyone to look at her. She blows kisses to the crowd. She say she go to gym every day, does five hundred sit ups, five hundred crunches and then run ten miles. She say she take care of her body. Aksana say that the others eat pancakes. She ask who is Arnold Classic winner. Aksana says she is. She says the other rookie wanna be just like Aksana. 

AJ is next and she says that she isn’t going to put the other girls down. She says that she belongs here more than the others. She says that it is time to redefine Diva. You don’t need high heels. They can like video games and comic books. She says that she is a Diva who loves the business. She says that it is about time that the WWE picks AJ. 

Kaitlyn is next and she says that before she disses any Diva, she wants to do an impression and she sticks out her butt and Naomi attacks her. She says that even though she fell flat on her butt, she will win Season Three.
Jamie is next. She says that she could talk about how this one is dressed like she is in a circus . . . ON A TRAPEZE. She can talk about this one who looks and acts like a ten year old on Christmas morning. Jamie says that she knows that she is the best and will win. 

Matt reminds the rookies about the concept of the challenge. 

Naomi is next and she says that she doesn’t want to diss because her mama told her that if you don’t have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything. If this is about wrestling and entertainment, she has all of them beat. She knows it, the WWE Universe knows it, and so do the other rookies. Naomi says that Kaitlyn was talking about her in a confessional but we know that the only reason why Kaitlyn won was because Naomi messed up. She says that Vickie almost had a better time than Kaitlyn did. She says that Kaitlyn is too cocky and too arrogant. She tells Kaitlyn to say it to her face next time. 

Maxine is the final rookie to diss and she says that she is sick and tired of the typical Diva. They are all the same. So overly perky and nice. They smile when they lose. She asks everyone what can you do with a nice girl? Take her home to mom and bake cookies. She says that is so boring. She says that nice girls can’t get things done in a man’s world. 

It is time for the voting and the winner of the challenge is AJ. 

AJ celebrates by hugging and kissing Matt. 

Vickie Guerrero rises from her chair and walks to the ring and gives a few ‘Excuse Mes’. Vickie tells Kaitlyn that week after week she tries so hard to make her into a reflection of her. Vickie says that she is a success. She wants the WWE Universe to feel her pain with what she has to deal with. 

Kaitlyn says that she has tried her hardest and all Vickie has done is bring her down. The first elimination is around the corner so she might not have another opportunity to do this. She challenges Vickie to a match.
Vickie asks Kaitlyn if she knows who she is dealing with. Vickie accepts and she says that she will show everyone that she is the pro and that Kaitlyn is nothing. Vickie slaps Kaitlyn and Kaitlyn pushes Vickie down. They fight on the mat until Matt separates them. 

Average match rating: N/A
Overall show rating: 5/10. All talk and no matches makes NXT a dull show.

I'm glad AJ won the diss the Diva contest, but I wish I could've seen it on TV. Is it bad that I'm this obsessed with AJ?

I really hope AJ is #1 next week. I would have to guess that either Aksana or Maxine will be the first to go. Canada is still getting NXT on TV so I don't have to worry about internet lag and whatnot.

See you later today with part 1 of my awesome new storyline. Sorry it wasn't up yesterday, it's taking longer to write than I expected.

September 28, 2010

Raw Review: Sep. 27/10

The show is off to an awesome start with Miz in the ring. Daniel Bryan Danielson has challenged him and A-Ry to a match tonight. Miz compares Danielson to a guy that wins the lottery and thinks he'll win every time. He then makes the very hypocritical statement that Danielson gets beat down every Monday.

WOOHOO! Ride of the Valkyries (or as Miz said "Superman music") wasn't just a one-week deal. I still like it.

Wow, Danielson got JoMo as his partner. I honestly think that this is the fastest a match has started on Raw in a long time.

Match 1: Miz and Alex Riley vs. Danielson and Morrison

Danielson with a German suplex and a dropkick in the corner. Pin attempt. Miz out at 2. Miz charges Danielson, and Danielson grabs him and tries for the LeBell Lock (terrible name). Miz counters into a Skullcrushing Finale for the pinfall.

Rating: 7/10. It was a good match, with good back and forth action. I'm not totally sold on Alex Riley yet though.

Post match beatdown now. Danielson goes after Alex at first, and Morrison is attacking Miz. Danielson dives through the ropes onto Miz and Morrison. Danielson continues attacking Miz, and now Morrison is back up and goes after Danielson. Danielson tosses him out of the way.

There's an email from the GM saying that the US title will be defended this Sunday at HIAC against both Miz and Morrison (I smell a reunion) in a submissions count anywhere match. Oh yeah, the GM didn't just invent that match, either. See Breaking Point 2009, Legacy vs. DX.

Diva's battle royal on now.

Looks like LayCool on commentary.

Match 2: Diva's #1 contender battle royal

Melina tossed over the ropes by Tamina (I can hear Jakob having a shit fit from here). I honestly think that was a botch. It looked like she was supposed to land on the apron, but missed. Tamina eliminates Gail Kim now. Tamina out shortly after, eliminated by Eve.

Bellas eliminate themselves after a double baseball slide misses. It was announced at the beginning of the match that as long as the girls go through the ropes and hit the floor, they're out. No top rope rule in play. Maryse thrown out be Eve.

Alicia quickly hits Eve (who puts herself through the ropes) and is eliminated next. Double team on Natalya by Alicia and Jillian. They think they've gotten rid of her and go after one another. Alicia promptly tosses Jillian out and celebrates. She turns to see Natalya still on the apron.

She tries to kick her off, but Natalya hangs on. She's back on her feet now, and flips Alicia overhead and to the floor. Natalya is now the #1 contender for LayCool's title.

Rating: 5/10. This is about an average Diva match. I like that Natalya won but other than that it was meh.

We return to Ted and Maryse arguing in the back. A knock on the door. Nobody there, just a note. "Next week you will be mine." I think this (and previous love notes) have been directed at the Million Dollar Title. These aren't things you say to a person.

Sheamus in the ring now. He talks about an old Irish story. A prince supposedly chopped of a hand in order to win a race. Sheamus says he'd cut his hand off for the WWE title. He issues an open challenge as we go to commercial.

We're back and there's still no challenger. Wait, here comes the Punjabi Teddy Bear.

Match 3: Sheamus vs. Khali

Boring match. Sheamus quickly gets DQ'ed.

Rating: 4/10. Pointless. Khali is a waste of money.

Beating continues. Sheamus inevitably comes out on top.

Cutting Edge is up after the commercials. Edge's guest will be the GM. This'll be..... interesting.

We're back and the GM's computer is in the ring, still on its podium. The computer is going to talk for itself apparently.

We're right into the questions. Why is the GM such a spineless coward? Apparently he remains anonymous because if people knew who he was it would shake things up too much. Also, it's got the worst voice ever. At least give us something cool like HAL or Stephen Hawking.

This is ridiculous. Edge is going to find out from Jericho who the GM is. Apparently Jericho is bluffing.

The GM tells Edge that he's got an opponent tonight. Edge says he doesn't have an opponent because there's no match (but why is he dressed to compete?).

Edge is walking back up the ramp as SuperCena comes out (to the ring, not the closet).

Match 4: Edge vs. Cena

I'm going for some food, brb.

Edge wins, but Cena had his foot under the ropes. Restart by order of the GM. Cena wins. Bullshit. NEXT!

Rating: 4/10. I thought there were no instant replays in pro wrestling?

Edge freaks out and goes apeshit on the computer. It kinda reminds me of Zoolander (yes, that clip is in Spanish. Damned if I can find it in English).

We're back from commercials and we have Nexus (Slater and Gabriel) vs. Mark Henry and Evan Bourne

Match 5: Bourne and Henry vs. Nexus

The world's fattest man drops Gabriel. He tags in Bourne, who goes up for the shooting star. Gabriel knocks him off the rope as Slater sends Henry to the floor. Gabriel up now for the 450 splash, but Bourne rolls out of the way. Shooting star connects this time.

Bourne with a pin attempt, but Slater pushes the men over. Gabriel is on top, and the ref didn't see it. Gabriel wins.

Rating: 7/10. I wanted to see more of Bourne vs. Gabriel and I don't think Mark Henry is a good pairing with Bourne. Other than that it was good.

Bourne gets worked over by Nexus after the match in typical fashion. Barrett on the mic now.

Semi contradictory promo about how Nexus doesn't need Cena, but Cena will be taking them to the top. They announce that they will be on Smackdown this week.

Commercials are over and we have Drew Mac and Cody Rhodes vs. the Hart Dynasty

Match 6: McDashingTyre (you come up with something better) vs. Hart Dynasty

Hart Attack is foiled by Drew. Cody hits the Cross Rhodes for the pin. Tyson and DH argue after the match.

Rating: 6/10. It was nothing special, but I guess it kinda sets up a split between them.

Truth and Cena backstage now. Of course Cena says he's going to be on SD this week too. Figures.

Jericho in the ring now. He's actually being billed from Canada. Cool.

Before the match, he cuts a promo. When he wins tonight, he'll be the #1 contender for the WWE title. Jericho decides to call himself the Viper Killer. Orton will join the long list of Hall of Famers and champions Jericho has beaten: Austin, Rock, HHH, Kane, HBK, Eddie, Rey, JBL, Big Show, Edge, Taker (who he beat twice), MVP, CM Punk....

...Invader 1, Inavder 2, Villiano 1, 2, 3, 4 and 5, Juventud, Great Muta Funaki, Fuyuki, Chavo, Dean Malenko, Luger, Sting, Goldberg, Great Muta, Ric Flair, Yoshi Tatsu, Masahiro Chono, Tajiri, Buff Bagwell, Kevin Nash, Diesel, Oz, Scott Hall, Razor Ramon, Starship Coyote, Armbar....

Here comes Orton.

Match 7: Jericho vs.Orton

 Jericho has the Walls in deep. He has Orton in the centre of the ring. Orton manages to break the hold and gets going again. Jericho down and Orton is hunting for the RKO. Sheamus in the ring now. The match gets tossed.

Rating: 8/10. Great match from both men. the Sheamus run in doesn't bother me so much as the bell ringing before Sheamus hit anyone.

During the confusion, Jericho hits a Codebreaker on Orton.  Jericho with a chair in hand. Orton ducks and counters with an RKO. Too bad it wasn't onto the chair. It's punt time. Sheamus is still hanging around outside the ring. him and Orton stare each other down as Orton's music plays to end the show.

Average Match Rating: 5.8/10

Overall Show Rating: 7/10 (+1)

Matches were very weak in places, but the show did do a decent job of setting up the PPV. The promos from Jericho Miz and Nexus brought the rating up as well. The number in brackets is the change from last week's rating. This week, the rating went up 1 point from last week, hence the +1. I'll be doing this for evry show in hopes of tracking progress.

Tomorrow sees the first new storyline here. All I will say is it will be awesome.

Smackdown Review: Sep. 24/10

I do sincerely apologize for the lateness on this. It's been a busy weekend. I don't have time to do my own write up, so I'll copy and paste WZ's in. I'll still do my own ratings and comments though.

The show opens with kane defeating Chris Masters. The masterlock was on pretty good, and Kane sold it well but he eventually got out of it and won with a tombstone. He promod and came over the barricade and into my section. he sat next to this kid and kept talking and the kid looked scared shitless. Kane was about 3 rows in front of me.

Rating: 4/10. The promo was much better than the match. I don't see the point to even having the match to be honest.

McIntyre and Cody defeated the Hart Dynasty.

Rating: 6/10. It was alright, and I'm glad to see 2 newer guys getting a push, but the match wasn't that exciting.

Chavo defeated Kaval. It was a pretty dead match, but me and my friend were cheering like crazy for Kaval. Chavo won clean with a frog splash after point up, in honor of Eddie. This got him some pops, but he had the most crowd reaction.

Rating: 6/10. Good technical work, but dammit why does Kaval have to lose?

Before commercial, Del Rio was standing over Christian in the back whos arm was hurt. Coming back, Del Rio had a promo about Rey Mysterio but Christian comes out and they start fighting but Del Rio gets the upper hand and uses that chair attack on his arm the same he did to Rey.

Big show faces Vance Archer and Curt Hawkins and wins clean after taking Vance down with a belly to back, and then a camel clutch for submission. Theres a hornswaggle segment and its talking lessons. Berretta and Croft are playing as movers for the move to syfy.

 Rating: 3/10. I hate these jobber handicap matches.

CM Punk goes over Luke Gallows with the GTS, after a backstage confrontation when gallows puts Punk against the wall and talks some trash.

 Rating: 8/10. I liked this match. Good to see the storyline progressing.

Dolph Ziggler faces MVP in a non title match. Its a good back and forth, and Ziggler gets knocked outside, kaitlyn and vickie are outside with him. Kaitlyn is trying to help him up, and vickie gets jealous and pulls her off. They share words and Kaitlyn pushes vickie on her ass. she walks away and Dolph tries to calm vickie down who walks away to the back. it took the ref a good minute to start the 10 count but MVP comes out and they brawl back into the ring. Ziggler ends up grabbing his title and walking away getting counted out giving MVP the win.

 Rating: 5/10. Good match, but the stuff between Vickie and Kaitlyn was better.

There might have been something else here I dont remember.

During the night there are some undertaker tidbits where hes really beat up about losing at the PPV. The final one is him yelling "go away!" a few times, then he looks up and then stands up, eye rolls and thats the last of that.

Final part of the show, Kane comes out for his announcement for the undertaker announcing their match for HIAC. the lights go out and druids bring a casket down to ringside. Kane opens it, and its Paul Bearer with the urn. Kane is shocked then the lights go out, and Undertaker is in the ring. they start fighting when the lights come back on, but Kane turns around almost into a chokeslam, but he bails and goes to the back. Undertaker poses with Paul Bearer, his music playing, and I think the show ends here.

Average match rating: 5.3/10

Overall Rating: 7/10

The weak matches killed the rating there, but the promos and whatnot were good.

That's all for now. Stay tuned later for my Raw review tonight, and tomorrow will see my first fantasy storyline begin.

September 24, 2010

NXT Review: Sep. 22/10

Sorry for the lateness on this, I've been having a busy week. I'm trying to find an alternate solution. At this point I may be dropping Impact from my coverage to help with the rest of my reviews.

So, here we go for the latest NXT.

We open up the show to Josh Matthews alone at the announce table. Hey, what's CM Punk doing here, and where did he get that jacket? He's joining commentary with Josh. This is going to be a fun night. We're also 2 weeks away from the first elimination.

Striker introduces us to the rookies. AJ and Kaitlyn look as hot as ever.

Kaitlyn had a big week last week. She won her first match and the joke off and the obstacle course. Ugh, here comes Vickie. She says that she's bringing in some of her close friends to help Kaitlyn train for her match against Jamie. LayCool. Oh joy. Just when I was enjoying the show.

They bash the Bella Twins (where are they this week by the way?), and all the rookies and all the pros.

Whoa, here comes Kelly. The new main event for tonight is Kelly, Naomi and Jamie vs. LayCool and Kaitlyn.

We now return from commercials and we have a bunch of chairs in the ring. This challenge will test their timing and shrewdness. Oh dear GOD it's musical chairs. The music isn't even good. It's like some crappy 70's game show tune.

Kaitlyn and Jamie out already. Guess they need to prepare for their match. Maxine is gone now. Aksana out.

We're down to Naomi and AJ. The music stops and they both sit down. AJ's cute ass hit the chair first, but Naomi's ghetto booty is taking up more of the chair. AJ wins according to the ref.

First match is AJ vs. Maxine and it's later on tonight.

We return to an Aksana vignette. Now, we have Aksana looking worried. She's having immigration problems. If she doesn't get her visa sorted out she's getting deported. Goldust tells her to calm down, and everything will be okay. Now just do the breathing exercises he taught her (3 guesses as to which breathing exercises).

Commercials are over and we have our first match.

Match 1: AJ vs. Maxine

AJ with a nice dropkick. Maxine nails her in the gut and suplexes her. Apparently AJ turned it into a brainbuster, but  don't see how. Either way, AJ wins.

Rating: 7/10. AJ looked good (and she wasn't too bad in the ring, either) but I thought the finish was odd.

SHIT! Cole is back. I'm going to spare you the details. He basically says that NXT without Cole is just plain bad. He says he back for his fans (the Cole Miners). He's bringing back journalistic integrity to NXT and that he's decided to return.

Back from commercials and we have the talk the talk challenge. Goody.

Jamie's nipples are up first, and she's talking about teeth. She goes 10 miles off topic and turns it into a self promoting rant.

Naomi is talking about a toupee. She's got nothing to say about it. She also goes on a self promoting rant.

Both girls have been DQ'ed for going off topic.

Now AJ is going to talk about caffiene. She does pretty good. She gets more and more attractive every week.

HAHAHA. Aksana doesn't know what a llama is. Also, she loves Striker's blue eyes. Maxine talking about foot. Yay fun. She starts making fun of AJ again. Nothing special.

Kaitlyn is talking about ignition. Or not. She's talking about people in their underwear. Punk says he's not wearing pants, which is how he watches NXT every week (I watch it the same way).

AJ wins. She deserved it. I really think she'll win the whole thing.

Our main event is on now after the break.

Match 2: Jamie, Naomi and Kelly Kelly vs. LayCool and Kaitlyn

McCool in the ring against Naomi. Layla distracts Naomi now. McCool grabs her for a belly to belly. She tags in Kaitlyn who gets the pin.

Rating: 5/10. Overall a boring match. I'm glad the rookie got the pin but other than that, LayCool is a drag.

LayCool attacks Kaitlyn now. Why, I have no idea. Vickie is screaming about how tired she is of Kaitlyn. This is getting old.

Average match rating: 6/10

Overall show rating: 6/10

Musical chairs was dumb, and the talk the talk challenge turned into a shit show. The saving grace of this show was AJ. She won both challenges as well as her match. She's going to win this season. Is there any way to add a date with me to the list of prizes?

Tune in either late tonight or tomorrow night for my SD review. Tuesday will bring my Raw coverage and Wednesday will see the start of a new fantasy storyline.

See you all then.

September 23, 2010

Unified WWE: The Way Forward?

With the talk of WWE unifying all titles, I figured I would take a look at what WWE would be like if that were to happen.

Having the roster unified again will give the WWE new angles and dimensions for feuds that isn't possible with the current split roster. Having a larger pool of people to draw from, you can come up with better ideas. It would also mean you have 2 shows a week (I don't count Superstars) to advance storylines and feuds. Maybe a promo on Raw with a match on SD or whatever.

That said, we would have to see Cena on both main shows. If I need to explain this one to you, please GFTO.

I like the idea of unifying the titles. I don't like that WWE is dropping the ones with the most prestige, but otherwise it's a good move. It makes things a lot easier in the long run. With less titles, creative should have more time to write decent shit for the titles that do still exist. Alternately, we could see creative slack even more and continue to give us the same shit that they have for years already.

I could also see the titles becoming more prestigious. If there's less titles to go around, it will make them seem more sought after.

WWE could do away with the current erroneously named draft (glorified trades)and actually do a proper draft using NXT as a year long all-rookie show without separate seasons. This will help with the influx of new talent that WWE seems to be initiating.

I think there is a good chance that WWE will redesign the title belts once they are unified. Hopefully this means we will no longer have to be the spinner belt every week by this time next year. Here's hoping they bring back the winged belt.

That I think does it for now. Later tonight will be my NXT review. Tomorrow will bring my TNA review. Due to a busy weekend I will either do my SD review late tomorrow night or Sunday. My feature post next week will be the start of a new storyline.

September 21, 2010

Raw Review: Sep. 20/10

Show starts off with the NEW WWE Champion, Randy Orton. Before Orton can do anything, Sheamus comes out and says that Orton doesn't deserve this moment. Sheamus says that both times he's held the title, it's been stolen from him. Orton has never beaten him one on one for the title.

Orton says that Sheamus won a fatal 4 way match that Nexus interfered in, and got himself disqualified from another. Sheamus has never beaten Orton, either.

Sheamus isn't intimidated, and says he'll kick Orton's head off. Orton dares him to try.

ACK! First email. It says that Orton and Sheamus will face off for the title at Hell in a Cell in 2 weeks.

Sheamus says that's fine, but before he leaves, he wants his gold back. He says that if Orton can beat him at HIAC, he'll give it back.

Orton says that he's not giving it back. He's not an honourable man, and he'd RKO his own grandmother to keep the title, and then RKO Sheamus' for good measure.

Orton goes to hand Sheamus the title, and RKO's him instead. Orton standing tall in the ring with Sheamus flat on his face.

Back from commercials now. Hart Dynasty on commentary now. Cole starts insulting them. Drew Mac and Rhodes on their way to the ring. Oh joy, they're facing Kozlov and Santino.

Match 1: Drew Mac and Rhodes vs. Santinto and Kozlov.

Kozlov in control. He powerslams Drew and tries for a pin. Rhodes breaks it up. Santino kicks Rhodes and tries to toss him from the ring. Cody tosses him out instead. Kozlov now takes Cody out of the ring, but that distracts him long enough for Drew to get him with the Futureshock.

Rating: 5/10. I dislike the team of Santino and Kozlov. It's the dumbest pairing since..... ever. I would much rather have seen the Hart Dynasty's rematch for the titles.

Return from commercials to Edge and Ryder backstage. Ryder is trying to be all buddy buddy with Edge. Edge says that they aren't friends and he doesn't want to hang out. Edge is getting more fed up with the GM.

Danielson interrupts them. Edge is pissed off at Danielson now, and he wants to face him tonight. Danielson agrees. I think it'll be a good match.

Jericho on his way to the ring now. His opponent is Morrison.

Match 2: Jericho vs. Morrison

Morrison catches Jericho with a roll up. Jericho counters into a pin of his own. Morrison breaks it. Jericho tries to lock in the Walls, but Morrison counters. He knees Jericho in the skull and hits Starship Pain for the win.

Rating: 8/10. Good match from these 2. I wish it had gone a little longer.

Commercials are over and we have Cena blabbering. Fast forward to the next segment. Miz is heading to the ring now.

He says that Daniel Bryan did not beat him. He didn't tap out. Miz says he woke up with a tender MCL. That's an injury. He says the doctors begged him not to compete, but since he was a true champion, he wrestled the match.

He did what none of the fans would do, including some fatso. His injury got so bad that he had to save himself from potential surgery. Miz now joins the guys on commentary, and Cole starts sucking his cock instantly.

Match 3: Edge vs. Danielson

Love Danielson's new theme. I don't care if it is public domain, it's better than generic rock (for those that don't know, the song is Wagner's Ride of the Valkyries).

Danielson is down. Edge waiting for him to get up so he can spear him. Danielson counters into a LeBell lock.

Alex Riley (who we recently learned is now Miz's assistant) distracts the ref long enough for Miz to attack Danielson. Edge gets the pin.

Rating: 7/10. I wish it had gone longer and that Miz didn't interfere. I guess I expected him to though.

Email from the GM saying that he's reversing the decision because Miz interfered. Danielson now wins by DQ. Miz freaks and is beating the shit out of Danielson. The beating went on way too long for my liking.

Commercials are over and we have LayCool coming to the ring.

Tonight we have Layla fighting.

Match 4: Layla vs. Melina, Diva's Title

Cole mistakes them for the self-professed unified champions. WRONG!

Ugh. McCool on commentary (speaking of which, has every match had guest commentary so far?)

Fighting in the corner now. Melina sets Layla on the top rope. She throws a couple of punches and winds up for another one, but Layla kicks her. She grabs Melina and hits her with a.... I guess you'd call it a sunset flip cutter. We'll have to wait on the official name.

Rating: 5/10. It was an alright match, and I liked Layla's finisher. Aside from that, I wasn't impressed.

Back from commercials and we see Nexus in a huddle. Jericho backstage with Josh Matthews. He says Jericho has an announcement. Jericho's announcement is about a new DVD featuring himself. He also says that he knows the IP address for Cole's laptop. He's now close to finding out the ID of the GM.

He also demands a title match against whoever wins at HIAC. Orton comes in now. He says he has a better idea. Next week, they'll face off one on one. If Jericho can beat Orton, he'll get a title shot whenever Jericho wants.

Eve and Truth out now. I kinda like his new song. I also REALLY like Eve. I can only assume that they'll be facing Ted DiBiase and Maryse. They have a new song too? It sucks balls.

Match 5: Truth and Eve vs. Ted and Maryse

Tag team 101 as we see all 4 people in the ring. DiBiase slides out, but Truth hits him with a nice dive. Maryse goes for a DDT, but Eve counters into a neckbreaker for the win.

Rating: 6/10. Pretty meh, but there were some good moments.

Ted and Maryse are arguing now. A video starts playing that says "I will have y<3u" and has some cheesy "romantic" music playing. DiBiase storms off.

Commercials are over and we have Cena vs. Barrett up now. May God have mercy on us all.

Barrett using the announce table as a soap box. There's been a slight change of plan. It's now a gauntlet match. If Cena can beat each member of Nexus back to back, then he'll get to face Barrett. King says that's impossible. At least someone in the WWE has a working bullshit detector.

Match 6: Cena vs. Nexus, Gauntlet match

Slater up first. Horrible selling by Cena. Slater otherwise looked good. AA and it's all over.

Otunga up now. Same basic story as with Slater. Otunga dominating early on. Cena counters a suplex attempt into a small package for the pinfall.

Tarver in next. Tarver taps to the STF.

Lastly is Gabriel. John Cena learned dropkick! Superplex on Cena. Gabriel crawls over for a cover. Cena somehow kicks out. Cole a least said it would be a miracle for Cena to beat Gabriel.

Top rope Lionsault by Gabriel. Kick out by Cena. Even Cole doesn't know how Cena kicked out. Cena counters a suplex and both men are down again. Cena gets a pin attempt but Gabriel kicks out. Trading punches now. Cena getting booed. STO by Gabriel. SuperCena kicks out again.

Oh GOD, 5MOD. On a side note, how did 5 knuckle shuffle slip through the PG filter?

Barrett and Nexus interfering now. Barrett has a chair. Cena somehow clears the ring.

Rating: 5/10. Nexus all looked good (except Otunga) but Cena made this match unbearble.

Cena says Barrett owes him now. Barrett says he won't gain anything by beating Cena again. He says he needs something to sweeten the deal. Cena says that Barrett will get the match at any time he wants it. Barrett says that he'll face Cena at HIAC on one condition.

If Barrett wins, Cena joins Nexus. Cena agrees. Wait, he has a stipulation of his own (of course). If Cena wins, Nexus disbands and everyone goes back to their humourous jobs.

Average match rating: 6/10

Overall show rating: 6/10. Segments were kinda boring and predicable. It was pretty much an average post-PPV show. Hopefully Smackdown will be better.

Tomorrow will be my weekly feature post and Thursday will bring my NXT review.

See you then.

September 20, 2010

Night of Champions Review: Sep. 19/10

Please note as with all PPV's this will be written based on the coverage provided by Wrestlezone.

Match 1: Ziggler vs. Kofi, IC Title match

Don't forget the added stipulation in this one, which states Ziggler can lose the title if he is disqualified and/or counted out. And we're underway! After trying to help Ziggler early on, Vickie Guerrero chases Kaitlyn to the backstage area. Striker informs the viewing audience that the challenger in this IC title match is a newlywed. Ziggler hits the Fameasser for a nearfall, after a lengthy control of the action. Kingston has a comeback series with a few nearfalls of his own. Kingston with a big dive onto Ziggler on the floor. Ziggler catches Kingston in the sleeper-hold out of nowhere. Kofi eventually breaks the hold. Vickie teased an attack on Kofi, but Ziggler calls her off, as to not get disqualified. Ziggler avoids a Trouble In Paradise from Kofi, countering it with the Zig Zag for the clean pinfall victory.

I can't really do ratings based on the matches as I didn't see them, but I will rate based on the match results.

Rating: 8/10 Overall, I like the sound of this match. I'm kinda glad that Dolph won cleanly, but at the same time I would've loved to see him get DQ'ed. Also, doesn't this sound like how their match the other night ended?

Match 2: Show vs. Punk

Punk cuts a promo on a bunch of Chicago stuff, turning himself heel due to expected babyface reactions from his local Chicago hometown. Match is getting underway now. Show and Punk are fighting outside the ring early on. Back in he ring, Punk is slowly gaining the advantage in this match. Punk with a big dive onto Show on the floor. Punk goes for another high-risk move, but this time Show catches Punk in mid-air with a big spear. Punk gets up and eats the KO Punch from Big Show, leading to the pinfall. Big Show sells a hand injury after the match

Rating:  5/10. I'm sick of seeing Show go over Punk.

Match 3: Miz vs. Danielson, US Title match

Bryan goes for the LeBell Lock early. Miz avoids it ultimately and heads to ringside for a pep talk w/ Riley. Crowd dieing down a little bit. Bryan hits a big dive onto Miz, through the middle ropes and to the ringside floor. Miz working on Bryan's shoulder in the ring. Riley distracts Bryan, screwing up another LeBell Lock attempt. Bryan goes after Riley. He eventually runs him into the ringside post. Bryan catches Miz in the LeBell Lock inside the ring. He gets the tap out, to become the new U.S. Champion.

Rating: 9/10. Bryan Danielson is the new champ, and hopefully Miz will move on the the WWE title picture now.

Match 4: McCool vs. Melina, Womens/Divas titles match

All of the WWE Divas are at ringside, serving as LumberJills for this match, set to determine the unified Divas/Womens Champion. Melina has the early advantage over McCool. Melina is dumped to the floor. The LumberJills do their thing. Back in the ring, McCool attempts the Styles Clash but Melina counters into a facebuster for a nearfall. Natalya attempts to pull McCool to the floor from the outside. Melina takes advantage of the distraction to McCool, rolling her up for a pin attempt. The ref, however, is distracted, causing a late count. McCool throws Melina to the floor and the LumberJills go nuts. Layla charges the ring, going after Melina. In all of the chaos, McCool catches Melina with a kick to set-up a pinfall and the victory. Michelle McCool is now the Unified WWE Women's Champion.

Rating: 6/10. The Undersucker won. That alone will kill a rating.

Match 5: Undertaker vs. Kane, WHC match
Undertaker is out first. Kane comes out, and Taker attacks him during his entrance. The two brawl all over the place, before ever making it into the ring to officially start the match. The match is underway now and they're still going at it tooth-and-nail. Kane dominating a lot of the offense here early. The two fight to the floor again. They're brawling all over the arena right now. They finally get the thing back in the ring. Kane remains in control of the offense. Taker fighting back now with punches. Crowd getting behind him. Taker hits his jumping clothesline spot. Taker hits the Snake Eyes and the big boot. He hits a leg drop and attempts a nearfall. Taker does the throat-slicing hand-gesture and pulls down the strap. He picks Kane up for the Tombstone, but Kane counters, hitting his own Tombstone. Kane pins Undertaker -- 1, 2 and 3.
Rating: 8/10. Glad to see Kane win, but it was predictable given the next PPV is Hell in a Cell.

Match 6: Hart Dynasty in a gauntlet match, Tag Titles on the line
This match is under gauntlet rules. Harts and Usos start things off. After a lengthy period of offense with heels in the advantage, the good guys are starting to come through here at the mid-point of the match. Hart Dynasty is eliminated by an Uso pinfall. Santino and Kozlov were next to be eliminated. Bourne and Henry got the better of the Usos, eliminating them next after a World's Strongest Slam and AirBourne-combo. It's down to the duo of Henry and Bourne vs. Cody Rhodes and Drew McIntyre. The finish came when Rhodes hit the Cross-Rhodes on Bourne to secure the clean pinfall.
Rating: 6/10. Sounds like a real cluster fuck. Couple that with the only actual tag team in the match (aside from the Harts) were the Usos you have a bad match in the making. Also I'm surprised by the result. At least Drew Mac is getting a push.

Match 7: 6 Pack Challenge, WWE Title match

Within seconds, Orton hits the RKO on Jericho and pins him, eliminating Chris Jericho from the Six Pack Challenge. Jericho flips out as this happens, questioning the three count. Jericho eventually heads to the back. After the Jericho stuff,  Wade Barrett is in the ring. All of the other guys beat him down and clear him from the ring. Cena and Edge get Sheamus out of the ring, and now it's down to just those two. Things didn't last long as Sheamus and Barrett are back in the mix now. All guys are going at it. Crowd is hating on Cena pretty big. Sheamus in control of things now in the ring. He's working over Cena at the moment. He misses on a High Cross off the ropes attempt. Edge interfering in the action now. Sheamus and Edge double-superplex Cena off the top. Edge attempts to pin Cena, while Sheamus just watches. No dice. Cena still in it. Sheamus and Edge continue their alliance, using their combined skills this time on Barrett on the outside of the ring. Back in the ring, the duo continues their beatdown, now focusing on Randy Orton. Orton making a comeback now. Sheamus and Edge finally break their allegience, coming to blows with one-another. Cena hits the Attitude Adjustment out of nowhere on Edge for a pinfall. Edge is eliminated from the Six Pack Challenge. Cena almost makes Sheamus tap with an STF. Sheamus eventually breaks the hold. The Nexus hits the rings and attacks Cena. This leads to Wade Barrett pinning John Cena. John Cena is eliminated from the Six Pack Challenge. Nexus attempts to shift focus to Orton, but Cena sticks around to help Orton fight them off. Orton hits the RKO on Sheamus and pins him. Sheamus is eliminated. Randy Orton is the new WWE Champion.
Rating: 7/10. Saw it coming. Glad Barrett eliminated Cena, but somehow I can see it leading to a burial later on down the road.
Average match rating: 7/10

There you have it. Those are my thoughts on Night of Champions. Overall not a bad show, but it was definitely dragged down by a couple of things.

Tune in tomorrow for my Raw review, and Wednesday for my feature post.

September 18, 2010

Smackdown Review: Sep. 17/10

Start out with the Peep Show. Christian is about to introduce his guest, but he gets interrupted by Tattoo (seriously, the guy looks like he's about to start yelling "boss! Ze plane!" any minute). Alberto Del Rio is apparently Christians guest.

Christian says Del Rio has made a big impression in his short time on the show. I tend to agree. Christian says that maybe it's 2 different guys. The one from the countless boring promos and the one that showed up on SD. Christian starts talking about his credentials. He's seen the next big thing, male cheerleaders, and a guy that ate worms. He's seen them all and outlasted them all. So is Del Rio like them? A flash in the pan, or is he really the most interesting man in the world?

Del Rio does praise Christian, but at the end of it all, Christian will be cleaning Del Rio's many houses. Christian challenges Del Rio to a match at NOC. He declines. He says Christian will end up a peasant after the match, and he doesn't want that. He decides he'll think about it.

Del Rio starts to walk away. Christian with a cheap shot. Del Rio rolls out of the ring and leaves. He says he's through with Christian and that his answer is no.

Return from commercials and here comes the Hart Dynasty. Their opponents are "Dashing" Cody Rhodes and Drew McIntyre.

Match 1: Hart Dynasty vs. "Dashing" Cody Rhodes and Drew Mac.

Sharpshooter attempt by DH on Rhodes. Drew breaks it up, and gets tossed form the ring. DH has Rhodes in a bear hug. Kidd in for a Hart Attack, but Drew pulls him out of the ring and slams him into the announce table. Rhodes counters DH into a Cross Rhodes for the pinfall.

Rating: 8/10. Great match, and as much as I dislike the "2 singles guys stuck together for a tag match" thing, Rhodes and Drew did pretty well. I think they could do well together.

Commercial break is over and Kofi is heading to the ring. His match against Dolph at NOC will be under "Quebec Rules" meaning that if Dolph is DQ'ed or counted out, he loses the title.

Kofi doing a promo on how Vickie is the only reason Dolph is champ. He says Dolph is a coward for hiding behind his woman. He says Vickie is a loudmouthed, nasty beast of a woman. He says Dolph is her flavour of the month.

Kofi says that not only will he win at NOC, but he'll rid WWE of the most repulsive couple in Smackdown history.

Commercials are over and Kofi is facing Swagger.

Match 2: Kofi vs. Swagger

Swagger ducks under a Trouble in Paradise attempt, and puts Kofi in the ankle lock. Kofi gets to the rope and Swagger breaks the hold. Kofi out of the ring. Swagger dropkicks the stairs, but Kofi moves. Kofi jumps Swagger and pounds him. Both men back into the ring. Swagger into a corner, and Kofi leaps onto Swagger. Swagger lifts him up for in a powerbomb style hold. Kofi tries for a hurricanrana or similar move, but Swagger grabs his ankle.

Kofi rolls out of the ankle lock and kicks Swagger off. Kofi gets up, and Swagger hits him with a big boot. Swagger going for his corner springboard splash, but Kofi gets a boot into his jaw. Trouble in Paradise connects and it's over.

Rating: 8.5/10. Second awesome match of the night. Kofi certainly has the momentum going into NOC. Too bad there are no plans for Swagger at the PPV

Now we have a Hornswoggle segment. This week, he's in school with a nun. Oh dear. Sister Mary Francis And Delicious. Stupid segment. Horny does nothing but get Teddy in trouble with Sister Delicious.

Horrible segment. I won't write anything more about it.

Return from commercials and Kelly Kelly and Rosa Mendes (she still wrestles?) are on their way to the ring to face LayCool.

Match 3: Kelly Kelly and Rosa Mendes vs. LayCool

Ref is distracted by Kelly, giving McCool the chance to kick Rosa in the back. Layla hits a neckbreaker for the pin.

Rating: 4/10. Who taught these girls to wrestle, Sharmell?

Backstage with LayCool. They're going to determine who faces Melina at NOC by having Kaval draw names form a hat. McCool wins. Layla looks stunned. Apparently all the papers say Michelle on them. Layla is pissed. I smell a split.

Return from commercials and now we have Punk vs. Christian. Del Rio on commentary. I think he did pretty well.

Match 4: Christian vs. Punk

Christian with a reverse DDT. Punk kicks out of the pin. Del Rio distracts Christian long enough for Punk to hit the GTS.

Rating: 8/10. Great match, plus Del Rio on commentary was awesome. The finish left a little to be desired, but it was still good.

Big Show comes out and clears the ring.

Commercials are over and we have a Kane promo coming up.

Kane says that the final chapter of the rivalry between him and his brother will be written at NOC, but this time the ending will be different. This sunday it ends how it started, with Taker laying in the ring. This sunday, the dark side will betray Taker. The match will be no holds barred.

Taker's music cuts Kane off. Taker walks to the ring. The lights go out, and now Kane is behind Taker. Kane decks him with the title belt and is beating him senseless. Now Kane is using Taker's own moves against him. First Snake Eyes, then a Tombstone.

It ends with Taker in the middle of the ring and Kane doing "the pose."

Average match rating: 7/10 This was brought down by a weak Diva's match. Other than that, awesome show.

Overall show rating: 8/10. I liked the show this week. Better show than Raw by far. This show did everything the last show before a PPV should do. It made me want to see the PPV (I still won't, but that's another story). Good promos from everyone. It's good to hear Kofi talking and I'm glad he dropped de accent, mon.

I'll have a NOC recap up after the PPV tomorrow night or monday during the day. Please note: I'll be using WZ's coverage to do my recap.

The feature post coming up for this week will talk about the pros and cons of a unified WWE.

Thanks for reading.

September 17, 2010

TNA Review: Sept 16/10

Start off with Bischoff, Angle and Hardy in the ring. Anderson has advanced to the World Title tournament. Due to the outcome of their match at No Surrender, Anderson will be facing both men at Bound for Glory. Bischoff is blowing smoke up their asses, and now Dixie is too.

Dixies says she was disappointed in the match ending, so now she's overruled Bischoff and the men will face off tonight to determine Anderson's opponent. Like I didn't see that coming. Pope running around backstage. Commercial break.

Paparazzi style Tommy Dreamer segment. Shows him gassing up his car. I dunno what it was about.

Nash and Sting coming to the ring now. Yay Wolfpac face paint. Joe and Jarrett now.

Match 1: Nash vs. Joe

I'm going to be doing this differently. I'll only be posting the ending of the match, but rate based on the whole match. Just easier on my wrists that way.

Both men end up outside the ring. Sting attacks Joe, and now Jarrett attacks Nash. Somehow, that doesn't end the match, but the ref's count out does. So, it was either a no DQ match or the ref was oblivious to the action while counting.

Rating: 4/10. Botched ending and a slow pace made for a yawn fest.

Fighting continues long after the bell.

Backstage with Madison Rayne and Lacey Von Erich. Madison tells Lacey to put some clothes on because they have a Tag Title match tonight (I'd prefer she wrestle naked, but hey). Lacey says she hasn't made her decision yet, whatever that means.

Back from commercials. Sting and Nash promo. Apparently things are starting to get fun.

Match 2: Jay Lethal vs. Doug Williams, X Division Title Match

Both men are down. Williams up first. Lethal up, and Williams on the middle rope. Lethal blocks a Tornado DDT and hits the Lethal Injecion. We have a new champ.

Rating: 8/10. PPV quality match for free, but I wanted to see more.

Lethal celebrating with the fans. Pretty good moment.

Backstage with Abyss. He's dragging some limp figure around. Pointless 10 seconds of filler before commercials.

Return from commercials and we have Angle praising Hardy and talking about Bound for Glory.

Knockout Tag Title match next. Please excuse my poor spelling in this next section, I'll be typing one-handed.

BP V.2 out first. Holy shit! HLA (Google it). I wish Madison kissed me instead of Tara. Wilde and Hamada out now.

Match 3: Wilde and Hamada vs. Rayne and Lacey Von Erich, Knockout Tag Title match

Hamada with repeating kicks on Lacey. Lacey went down WAY early on the first one. Wilde tagged in, and they hit a Samoan Drop/Neckbreaker for the win.

Rating: 6/10. Hot as Lacey is, she is greener than a seasick leprechaun.

Tara attacks Lacey after Madison gets pissed at her. BP V.1 out now. I got confused at first, because I thought the sound guy was playing the music too early, and since Rayne and Tara didn't really react to it, I thought it was a miscue.

Commercial break. Return to Hardy's Bound for Glory promo. Meh (or should I say "meth?")

Dreamer coming to the ring. He says he wants to talk to Fourtune. Here they come. On a side note, shouldn't they be called Seventune? Dreamer says he's calling a truce. He also says that Fourtune is the future of the company. Dreamer just wants a place to call home.

Now he starts praising each member of Fourtune. Storm has more talent than Sandman apparently. Dreamer got Kaz his job in WWE. He said it was bad for WWE that Kaz left. If not for TNA, Kaz wouldn't have met his wife.

Morgan used to be a nightclub bouncer. Apparently he could have been the next Undertaker or Kane (HA!) Now when a big dude comes in, they'll say he's the next Matt Morgan.

Roode's WWE tryout was against Dreamer. Roode was accepted to WWE, but stayed with TNA.

Dreamer thanks Flair. He is supposedly the best hardcore wrestler (bullshit). He's not the dirtiest player in the business, he IS the business. His retirement will be pro wrestling's saddest day (Owen, Eddie, Pillman, Benoit).

AJ is the only person to make Dreamer say "I quit" and that was because he's better than Dreamer. He wants to shake AJ's hand.

AJ appreciates everything Dreamer said about Fourtune. AJ says Dreamer is all heart.  Dreamer does have AJ's respect and he will shake his hand.

I kinda like this mutual respect thing. Never mind. AJ beats down Dreamer after saying he doesn't need his endorsement. The rest of Fourtune joins in now. For some reason, they try to break them up by ringing the bell. Kendrick runs in and gets beaten down too.

Here's security and they're doing nothing to help. Fourtune leaves, and now security helps Dreamer out. Kendrick on the mic. He's calling out Fourtune. My GOD he sounds like a stoner. Morgan has apparently accepted the challenge as we return from commercials.

Match 4: Morgan vs. Spanky

Total squa -- dropkick and roll up by Spanky? No way.

Rating: 3/10. NEXT!

Morgan is bitching that it doesn't count because he wasn't ready. He wants it stricken from his record. Whiny bullshit.

Pope talking to Ms. Tessmacher (totally sexy). Bischoff is in a meeting. Pope will have to wait. Pope invites her back to his dressing room. She says maybe she can squeeze him in. Har har.

We return to Abyss going crazy. He has one guy strung up in some BDSM thing and another guy in another BDSM ring. He rips off the second guy's shirt, and brands him with 10 10 10.

RVD is on the phone now. They talk about his recovery. Not interesting to me in the least.

Generation Me in the ring. Kind of a boring promo. They say that since Shelley was injured at No Surrender, they want the MMG's to give them the tag titles because Shelley won't be able to defend the titles. Sabin comes out and a beatdown ensues. Generation Me comes out on top.

Back from commercials and Hardy vs. Angle is up now. Kinda looking forward to it, kinda not.

Match 5: Kurt vs. Jeff

We're into Reaction time here, and given that I didn't set it to record past 10 extra minutes, the ending may be cut off. Why can't they end matches during their regular show? Thankfully, I did get the finish.

Weird ending. Kurt and Jeff both trying to get leverage in a submission hold. Ref is down, and there's a second ref in now. Ref 1 gets back into the ring in time to count Jeff's shoulders down while ref 2 counts Kurt's down. We have a double pin and no clear winner. I don't see the point to it, but I guess that's how they set up the 3 way match at BFG. I personally would've done it differently.

Rating: 8/10. Good match, odd ending.

Average match rating: 5.8 2 boring matches ruined it for me.

Overall show rating: 7

An alright show but could have been stronger. I wish they would finish up Impact during their actually allotted time slot. Tune in tomorrow at some point for my SD review, and Monday for my NoC recap.

Sorry for having this up so late, kept getting interrupted.

September 16, 2010

NXT Review: Sept. 15/10

We start off with Vickie Guerrero. Joy. Cole starts eating her out immediately. She says that she needs someone to bring class to the show, so she brought it Dolph Ziggler. Mr. Ziggles is teaming with Kaitlyn (who is totally hawt) against AJ (also hawt) and Primo.

Match 1: Primo and AJ vs. Dolph and Kaitlyn

Men start off. A couple moves, tag to the women. AJ with a headlock on Kaitlyn. AJ now feeding punches. Body splash and a pin attempt now. Kaitlyn kicks out, and clotheslines AJ. Dolph knocks Primo off the apron after the tag. AJ's got some spunk in her, as she tries to attack Dolph. Ref breaks it up and Primo comes in.

Bit of back and forth action, Dolph hits the Zig Zag (worst finisher name ever?) for the win.

Rating: 6/10. AJ was impressive, as was Kaitlyn, but I wish one of the rookies got the pin.

Video package on Maxine. Meh. I wasn't impressed. I hope she can wrestle better than she talks.

Oh God, Joke Off after the break. While they joke off, I'll jack off (I'll just let that image soak in). These girls are sexy!

We're back, and the girls are in the ring. Joke off starting now. Which ever Diva tells the best joke wins, based on audience reaction.

AJ telling the oldest blonde joke ever. But I'll forgive her because she's hot. Aksana babbling in Lithuanian. The fuck? I didn't even understand her English.

Jamie's was kinda funny. Aksana who? I agree.

EEK. I just heard Naomi say "Heeeey Detriot!" I think I found something more ear piercing than Melina's primal scream.

Maxine calling AJ a girl scout. Cat fight. Striker tries to split them up, and fails. Now all the Divas are involved. Kaitlyn's turn. She goes after AJ too. AJ jumps her and we have cat fight #2. Wee.

We have a winner. Jamie. Good call.

Michael Cole RAGE! Somebody get that gong away from him.

Back from commercials and it's Jamie vs. Aksana.

Match 2: Aksana vs. Jamie

Another match that starts with a headlock. Wow. Aksana in control. Jamie drops Aksana and takes control now. Aksana throws Jamie across the ring. Clothesline to Jamie. Aksana throws Jamie to the corner. The goes for a clothesline, but Jamie ducks and rolls up Aksana to get the win.

Rating: 5/10. Not the greatest show of skill, but Jamie is hot so it's okay.

Naomi video now. Again not impressed. I don't like these bios. I don't care about this stuff. Not to mention they all seem out of character.

Back from commercials and apparently Vickie is jealous of Kaitlyn. Dolph hugged her after their match. Vickie says that if that keeps up, she's leaving Dolph. I'd call that an upgrade.

Yay, obstacle course. Same course they used for the men last season. Noticeably smaller cart though. Vickie comes out again. She's going to show Kaitlyn how it's done on the obstacle course. Kill me now. Haha, she can't get over the high wall. I'm surprised she can even do 10 push ups. Faceplant off the balance beam. She starts screaming and walks off almost in tears. If it were real, and her character wasn't a bitch, I'd feel bad. Too bad it isn't and she is.

Maybe if they had put a giant chocolate cake at the finish line she would've done better.

Back from commercials, and there's a slow mo replay of Vickie falling. As if her ass jiggling at normal speed was bad. Kaitlyn doing well here. Sexy style points for the finish.

Time is 36.5. Aksana running now. Very weird push ups. She doesn't beat Kaitlyn's time.

AJ's turn. Looking good (and she's not doing too bad on the course, either). Slow on the beam. About 10 seconds slower than Kaitlyn. Maxine on the course now. Good pace. Falls on the beam and loses the pace. Kaitlyn still leading.

Jamie up now. Slow on the tires. Picks up some speed and comes in at 36.8. Naomi up now. Fails on the tires, but good on the walls. Worst push ups ever. She redoes them. Not to self: set DVR for an extra 10 minutes next week. It just stopped taping in the middle of her run.

Sorry about that, I didn't realize there would be that much of an over run. From what I saw, nothing hugely impressive.

Final rating: 5/10. 2 matches and one dumb contest really hurt this show. Hope next week is better. But hot chicks saved the score a bit. Have I mentioned these girls are hot?

TNA review tomorrow, SD on friday, and sunday night, semi-live PPV coverage. I may end up not reviewing every show, because there's 4 of them and 1 of me, but we'll see how things go.

Also, I'll be doing a monthly storyline starting in 2 weeks. Keep you posted on future plans.

September 15, 2010

WWE vs. TNA as I see it

Since there's been even more comparison between the 2 "top" companies lately, I figured I'd put them head to head on paper and see how they stack up. I'll be looking at a few things: Roster, matches (quality), creativity (storylines) and production quality.

I'll give my thoughts on each company and pick a winner for each category. At the end, the company that wins the most categories is, in my opinion, the better of the two (albeit shit that's better than other shit is still shit).


WWE: They have finally started pushing the young guys with NXT and are doing so on Raw and Smackdown as well. That said, there are still some relics that need to retire and some stars that need to get out of the title pictures. They have untapped potential in a number of stars, and they are finally starting to use it.

TNA: Funny how a company who tries to be so different from WWE insists on hiring their rejects. TNA has more fossils than a natural history museum on its roster. They are trying to recapture the glory days of pro wrestling by bringing in pseudo-stars from yesteryear and are hoping to draw in viewers with the "big names." That said, they also have some fresh talent, but they need more.

Bottom Line: I have to give the nod to WWE here, as they are trying to bring some fresh faces into the brands. TNA at this point needs to build their own stars and not rely so heavily on already established stars to make their name.


WWE: The aim of WWE programming is more towards entertainment than match quality. However, there have been many great matches in recent memory. I would also like to point out that WWE seems to make the same matches over and over again during feuds. You can only do something so many ways, and only so many times before it gets stale. The matches in themselves may each be good, but it's still something we've seen before.

TNA: Seeing as TNA is mainly using has-beens, match quality is slipping, but as with WWE, there are some good matches here and there. They also have the recurring match problem, but it isn't as bad as WWE's is. TNA also seems to offer more variations in their match types, which leads to more opportunities for great moments.

Bottom Line: This is a tie in my mind. There are enough good and bad matches from each company to make it too close to call. TNA has better technical matches for the most part, but WWE's entertainment value is higher.


NOTE: I don't count a storyline as a bunch of matches and a couple promos. I'm talking about the actual storytelling that goes along with them.

WWE: Storylines have slipped recently, in that there don't seem to be much of them anymore. It appears to me that the only storyline of note at the moment is Kane and Taker, but then remember what I said above about recurring matches. There are a few little things here and there, but nothing that's significant enough to fully be called a storyline.

TNA: There have been more storylines in TNA than WWE recently. Abyss going psycho again, Kurt fighting his way up the top 10 rankings and of course, EV2.0. Again, I don't see much of note. TNA has kind of backed itself into a corner on this because of the aforementioned fossilized roster. They've done pretty much everything there is to do, so what's left aside from doing it all over again?

Bottom Line: When WWE does a big storyline, they really go big, but TNA has put effort into creating more storylines than just 1 or 2. Another draw, but only just.

Production Quality

WWE: They have the money to make the show look good, and they use it. Cameras are usually good, and there are rarely malfunctions with equipment. I don't know if this issue is with my satellite provider or WWE, but there are a few times where all I've seen is a black screen during Raw, and just tonight during the show, it goes to commercial and comes back to Jericho's "I'm not leaving" promo again, then cuts back to the cage match. I think it has something to do with the live feed, but it's annoying and I'm trying not to hold it against WWE.

TNA: There has been many a time when I think TNA is directed and produced by monkeys. Shoddy camera work, bad timing and almost every week you can tell something has been poorly edited. My biggest issue has been "we'll follow this match with no commercial interruptions" followed by, you guessed it, commercials.

Bottom Line: A show will be more appealing if it looks like it's put together well. TNA loses out here, but only because I don't think they have the budget for production that WWE does (or the money is tied up elsewhere). If TNA can raise their production values, I think that is a major step towards competing with WWE.

Winner: WWE. At this point in time, TNA can't compete with WWE in the areas that make the most difference. TNA did tie with WWE in 2 categories, which is a good start, but there needs to be a major improvement.

WWE does have its faults, but I think TNA's are having more impact on them because they are a smaller company.

That does it for this week. Next week, I'll discuss the pros and cons of a unified WWE.

September 14, 2010

Raw Review: Sept. 13/10

It feels good to be writing again. I've cleared out the cobwebs and aired the place out a bit. Hopefully the mold smell is gone by the time you read this. You may have noticed the updated look. I think it's much better, plus there's nothing that gets a fresh start going better than an overhaul (makeover for the more effeminate readers).

Anyways, it looks like I picked a good week to start this up again. Raw Roulette was..... interesting, I guess. It did give us a few decent moments.

We start off with Orton and Cena waiting to find out their match for the evening. Orton tries to spin the wheel, but Cena stops him (douche). He gets Eve to do it for him. We find out it'll be a tables match. This could actually be alright, if SOMEONE doesn't botch the finish. Josh refers back to TLC where Sheamus beat Cena in a tables match for the WWE title.

Now we have some football star hosting. I don't follow the sport so I have no clue who the fuck he is, but he did gets some horrible 80's TV theme music. Thankfully, the Miz is here to save us from football guys horrible, Ben Stein-esque talking.

Good mic work from Miz as always, but I find him spouting off his accomplishments is getting annoying. That's good, it makes me want to hate him which is his job.

First email from the GM. Oh goody. Cole talking. Shoot me now. We find out Miz will be in a submission match. Another good match in the making, I hope. Chad Oingo Boingo has the choice of Miz's opponent: Daniel Bryan Danielson. Commercial break.

Match 1: Miz vs. Danielson

We come back to the match already underway. Good back and forth early on. Miz locks in a Figure 4 but Danielson rolls it over. He sinks in the LeBell Lock, and Miz gets to the ropes. Some more action, both men looking good.

Miz ducks out of the ring, and looks hurt. He grabs a mic and says he has a hernia. He's pulling out of the match because he wants to be ready for Sunday. On a side note, can you really recover from a hernia in 7 days? The ref is about to toss the match, but Miz says Danielson will be facing Alex Riley.

Match resumes. Riley is dominating early on. Cole is sucking Miz's cock big time trying to play up the hernia crap. Danielson counters Riley and puts him in the LeBell Lock. Riley taps. Miz gets into the ring, and attacks Danielson. Miz starts yelling at Danielson that he's "average at best" and how he'll never have the title. Miz goes for another assault, but Danielson sticks him in the LeBell lock again. Miz taps. More cocksucking from Cole.

Cole starts talking about how this Sunday it won't be a submission match (which makes no difference as submissions still count).

Match score: 7/10. It was too short, and the storyline wasn't that enthralling. Plus I feel like I got ripped off when they stuck A-Ry in.

Roulette wheel is shown again. Jillian spins the wheel and starts singing that Flo-Rida song. Edge joins her. We're going to find out his match after the break. We return to Edge making his way to the ring. Still waiting for his match.

 We find out his opponent is Evan Bourne (or as my mom called him on Sunday "that little shit"). We learn it's a bodyslam challenge (wtfrusrs?)

Match 2: Edge vs. Bourne, bodyslam challenge

Edge immediately grabs Bourne, but he snags the ropes. Bourne gets free and drops Edge with a nice kick. Edge gets back up and drops Bourne. He then slams him for the win. Bourne gets back up and Edge spears him.

That annoying GM is back. Edge has to compete in another bodyslam challenge because he speared Bourne. This time he's facing Mark Henry. Ugh. Some more trading shots. Edge tries to lift Henry, but the fatass just falls on Edge.

Henry drops Edge for the boring win. Question: does the World's Strongest Slam even count as a bodyslam?

Match score: 4/10. Pointless. If the match were anything else, I think it would've been good. Add in Mark Henry and it becomes even more useless. Also, why is he still dressing like a fat black version of MVP?

Commercial break. We return to Ted DiBiase and Maryse in the ring. R Truth and Eve come out next. Goody, a musical match. Song and Dance contest.

Truth is singing (big surprise), and Eve is "dancing." Truth is singing what must be his rumoured new theme. I actually kinda like it. I wouldn't really call what Eve was doing dancing, though.

Ted DiBiase hits the nail on the head. This isn't America's Got Talent. He calls this competition stupid (and I agree). But he's going to do it anyways for some reason.

I never thought I'd find a worse singer than Jillian, but, there he is... Maryse isn't looking too impressive, either. I mean her dancing. She is still smokin' though.

DiBiase gets upset about something and they attack Truth and Eve. Of course Truth and Eve come out on top, and Cole is sucking the heels balls again.

Rating: I'm not going to bother.

Backstage, Regal and the Bella twins are at the wheel. Trading Places match comes up. Apparently it involves raiding your opponents wardrobe. Unsurprisingly his opponent is Goldust.

Sheamus comes in now and says that if Morrison can beat him tonight, he gets Jericho's spot in the 6-pack challenge. The Bella twins (did Sheamus just call them "fellas?" spin the wheel and it's going to be a falls count anywhere match.

Commercial break. Edge is pacing the locker room and Zack Ryder joins him. Apparently they go "way back" so Edge can tell Ryder what's going on. Edge said that when he wins on Sunday, him and the title are going MIA. We now have Morrison doing crazy flips and running around backstage. It's pretty impressive.

The falls count anywhere match is next up after the break.

Match 3: Sheamus vs. Morrison, falls count anywhere

Morrison with an early roll up but Sheamus kicks out. Another pin attempt after a couple more moves. Odd looking slingshot hurricanrana by Morrison outside the ring. Morrison is sent crashing into the barrier. Sheamus charges, but Morrison flips him over the rail. A vaulting shoulder by Morrison and another pin attempt. Sehamus kicks out again.

Backbreaker on Morrison. Sheamus drops Morrison's gut on a rail and tries for a pin. Morrison is out at 2. Big Boot attempt against a storage crate, but Morrison ducks. On the stage now. Sheamus slams Morrison onto the stage and tries for a pin. No dice again. Morrison counters a bodyslam. Sheamus throws Morrison off the stage, but he flips out of it and lands on his feet. Pin attempt, kick out.

Morrison into the barrier again. Sheamus pins, Morrison kicks out. Good action so far. Chair in play now. Morrison disappears, and shows up on top of the tron. Body splash, pin. Sheamus kicks out. Jericho appears, and whacks Morrison with the chair. Sheamus pins him for the win.

Match rating: 8/10. The ending ruined it. there was no need for the interference, as Sheamus beating Morrison is completely believable.

Jericho is in the ring now, just sitting there. Commercial break. We return, and Jericho is still sitting there, holding a mic. He says he's not going anywhere until he gets exactly what he wants. As good as Jericho is on the mic, his character is becoming more and more like a spoiled 4 year old every week.

He says he wants back in the 6-pack challenge, or he quits (for real). He says he's going to expose the GM's identity before he leaves though. Email comes in. Cole tarts his obnoxious spiel, but Jericho shuts him up and tells him to just read it.

Now the GM is spouting Vinnie Mac's catchphrase. Jericho calls him out on it, saying that Vince isn't a coward and wouldn't be hiding behind a computer. Email comes in again. Cole tries yet again with his little banter. Jericho cuts him off again.

6-pack challenge is now an elimination match, and Jericho is back in. Jericho thanks the GM and gets up to leave. But wait, there's more! Jericho is back in the match, IF he can win a match tonight. It's going to be a handicap match against the Hart Dynasty. Now, they've thrown in a steel cage for no extra cost. Commercial break.

Glitch in the feed. We return to the start of Jericho's promo. Now the cage match comes on.

Match 4: Jericho vs. Hart Dynasty, steel cage match

Kidd in control early. Hart attack on Jericho. Both members climbing out. Smith is out. Jericho and Kidd left. Kidd throws Jericho off and hits a cross body off the top rope. Jericho in control now. Kidd scrambles to the door, but Jericho reels him in.

Jericho puts in a headlock. Kidd fights out and starts a series of dropkicks on Jericho. Kidd throws Jericho into the corner, but he jumps onto the cage and tries to get out. Kidd stops him, and dives on Jericho. Jericho gets out of the way, and Kidd lands directly into the Walls. Sharpshooter attempt, but Jericho counters. The throws Kidd overhead, and he grabs onto the cage.

Jericho tears him off, and locks in the Walls for the win.

Match rating: 8/10. Nice action, plus a steel cage match is good once in a while.

We return from commercial to the trading places match.Yikes.

"Regal" vs. "Goldust"

More pointless bullshit. "Regal" pulls out the brass knucks for the mercifully quick win.

Rating: Can I give a negative rating? Wait, it's my blog. -2/10.

Commercials again. Oingo Boingo is back in the ring and introduces himself as the guest ring announcer. Orton is in the ring for the tables match. Here comes Captain Derpshit.

Match 5: Orton vs. Cena, tables match

Lock up that leads nowhere. Lots of staring. Cena with a headlock. Orton throws him off, but Cena rebounds and hits a shoulder on Orton. More staring. Orton with a headlock now. Cena's out and even more staring. Circling eachother. Orton finally strikes Cena and slams his face into a turnbuckle. Cena's down. Orton on the apron, trying to suplex Cena out of the ring and through a table.

Cena pushes Orton off and almost through the table. Commercial break now. Trading punches in the ring now. Anti Cena crowd, woo. Cena is down. Orton stomping him flat now. Cena struggling up the ropes onto the apron. Orton punches Cena, who is teetering over a table. Cena somehow recovers and suplexes Orton.

Both men down after a double clothesline. Both up now. Cena tries for an FU but Orton counters into a DDT. Orton with a table in the ring now. Table set up in the corner and Cena is back up. Thus start the "vintage John Cena" FMOD. Orton counters the FU again, and drops Cena with repeated clotheslines. RKO attempt, but Cena counters into the STFU.

Here comes Nexus now. FU on Otunga, Slater over the ropes through a table. Barret drops Cena with his finisher. Barrett with a table in the ring now. Cena still down. No idea where Orton is. Gabriel to the top rope, Barrett rolling Cena onto the table. Orton throws Gabriel off the turnbuckle, and goes after Orton. Orton counters his finisher, and tosses him out of the ring. Barrett holds on, but Orton knocks him off.

Cena still down, Orton how hunting Cena. Edge and Jericho out now attacking Orton. Edge accidentally spears Jericho through a table. Both of them down now. Sheamus is out and attacking Cena, who somehow recovers again and hits an FU. Orton up now, and going after Cena. Cena counters and gets him up for an FU. Orton counters that and RKOs him through the table to win.

Match rating: 7.5/10. Overall it was good, but pointless run ins and a sloppy finish hindered this match.

Final show rating (averaged out from match ratings): 5.5/10

Overall, a weak go-home show for NOC. I think Raw Roulette is an excuse to give us shitty matches and stupid gimmicks, but it's okay, because it's all "chance" right?

Tune in tomorrow for my weekly feature, and thursday for my NXT review.

September 11, 2010

I'm Baaack!!

FINALLY, The ACA-CT has come BACK to the -- Oh never mind. I can't stand the Rock.

That's right folks, I will be posting again. What prompted this, you ask? Well, I've been watching WWE and TNA now, and I need a place to vent my thoughts and opinions. That, and I'm bored as fuck in my downtime. I realized how strong my opinions are, and how many of them I have after not posting here for the longest time.

Every time I see something on a show anymore, all I can think of is "I should write about that."

I'll try to post my thoughts of each show, plus a weekly feature post. Jon Lew, if you read this, I would love to use your weekly WTFs and FTWs on here. Also, if you'd like to subscribe, shoot an email to

Posts will start again next week on Tuesday with my Raw review. Weekly feature post will be a WWE vs. TNA comparison.

I'll also test run some monthly awards (best/worst style).

Please note that PPV reviews will be done using Wrestlezone's coverage.

Hope you guys are still interested in reading this stuff.

See you next week,