October 7, 2009

We Can Do Better

Here's a new feature debuting this week, where I'll look at the card for an upcoming PPV, and scrutinize the crap out of it, and then rewrite it as I see fit.

This year, we have a new PPV debuting called Bragging Rights. It's supposed to be a SD vs. Raw concept (Survivor Series, anyone?). The Raw main event is our favourite bag of shit, John Cena vs. Randy Orton in an Ironman match.

The only upshot of seeing Cena make Orton look bad for an entire hour is that Cena may leave Raw at the end.

If it were me doing the booking (and God willing some day I will be), I would do it like this:

First off, we need to get rid of the ridiculous Cena/Orton promo from Raw. Gone. Tossed. Instead of having Cena come out and demand his rematch, Orton will just flat out tell Cena that this is how things are going down, and if he wants his rematch, he'll have to abide by his terms.

For the stipulation itself, I would go one step further and say that Cena must leave Raw, AND is not allowed to challenge for ANY title for one full year. He can't compete in the Royal Rumble, he's not allowed in Money in the Bank, absolutely no #1 contender's matches.

Now, in all fairness, we need some kind of stipulation for Orton, since we want this to actually seem like something is being put on the line. I think that Orton should be putting up his spot in Legacy. They're holding him back, anyways.

Now the PPV rolls around, and Orton is in the ring holding John Cena's Raw contract. He says that if Cena doesn't win, he will rip this up right in front of him.

The match starts (I'll spare you the hour-long descriptiona nd cut right to the chase) and near the end things are all tied up at 3 falls each.

Cena has Orton up for an FU/whatever the new even gayer name is, but Orton counters and drops into an RKO. The closing seconds of the match see Orton pin Cena. 1....2..... oops, time's up.

Now, Orton, instead of being irate, has an evil smirk on his face. He grabs a mic and Cena's contract. He says that well, Cena didn't win, so he's tearing up his Raw contract. Furthermore, the other stipulation is that Cena is no longer allowed to have any contact with any title picture for one full year effective immediately.

The next night on Raw, Orton is in the ring with Legacy, boasting about how he's kicked Cena off Raw. Cena interrupts, and says that hey, Orton didn't win either. So he has to give up his spot in Legacy.

Orton says he could care less about those 2 talentless nobodies. They're holding him back, wasting his time.

So now Orton banishes Rhodes and his butt-buddy from the ring, and now we have Orton by himself as a top dog without any restraints. Perhaps when Edge returns we'll see Rated RKO reform.

Tune in....some time.... for the finish to the Undertaker's last storyline.


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